It has taken five years, but now - very recently, in fact - I've given up working weekends. Well, let me qualify that statement. What I should say is that I have given up habitually working weekends at what is now my day job.
It's a much more subtle force saying something along the lines of, 'You really shouldn't be bothered to do this. This is really boring.' Why? Why shouldn't I be bothered, and where does this voice come from?
Despite not remembering very much of it (work-, not drink-related, I hasten to add), and despite feeling as if there were plenty of things left undone, the fact is that there were a few notable accomplishments.
No, I'm not talking about the new year. Rather, the beginning of a new project. Always the same, always wracked with doubts.
The way I work is the way I work. The values that I have are a part of what makes it my work. I can't work how somebody else does, and that is a good thing.
It has been a week in which I casually tossed out a PhD project proposal, had it accepted, and then submitted a funding application for that same project.
As a professional, there is not much more you can do than, be professional. Sometimes its an unenviable circle.
I asked myself the question, 'Why do I love working with sound to picture' today. It's a question that I ask myself fairly often, whether in times of exasperation or exaltation.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself. Am I really working in a professional audio post-production studio, working on feature films and television programmes that people are actually going to see?